Let's Dance!

Popular songs and tips for how to trip the light fantastic during your first dance

By Anna Sachse

Trying to select the song for your first dance as husband and wife is a difficult task. Make it too cheesy (pretty much anything in a Disney movie) and it won’t ring true; make it too trendy (Beyonce’s “Single Ladies – Put a Ring on It”) and you’ll regret it a year later; make it too silly (Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters”) and it will seem like you’re not taking the moment seriously. This is the song that will symbolize your relationship and future life together, and as if that weren’t enough pressure, all eyes will be on you while you dance to it.

Here the experts weigh in on how to pick a romantic tune that truly rocks.

Desirable Ditties

For a list of your fellow brides’ top 75 picks for the first dance song, pick up the May/June issue of Brides magazine. Compiled from readers’ favorites, the list is an alphabetical assortment of old chestnuts that have withstood the test of time (think Etta James’ “At Last”) and new and interesting favorites (think ballads by U2 and Big & Rich), across all genres. It’s a mix of classics and contemporary, but the common thread is that they all tend toward the sentimental.

“I’m still a sucker for the romantic slow songs,” says Kim Alexander, owner of No Macarena DJ & Custom Music Service in Philadelphia. “It’s amazing the way the bride and groom look at each other in that one moment. I’ve been deejaying weddings for 11 years now, and I’m still not immune to it.”

Despite the fact that No Macarena is the kind of hip wedding DJ company that tends to attract more modern, indie-leaning music lovers, Alexander says that the sweet, slower songs are still the favorite for the first dance. Some of the most popular choices among the couples she works with include Bright Eyes’ “The First Day of My Life,” Ray LaMontagne’s “You Are The Best Thing,” Ingrid Michaelson “The Way I Am,” Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest,” Jack Johnson’s “Better Together” and Van Morrison’s “Tupelo Honey” and “Crazy Love.”

“Cat Power’s ‘Sea of Love’ was really popular last year thanks to the movie “Juno,” but now that is tapering off,” says Alexander.

Old standards her clients request here and there include Sinatra’s “Always” or “Fly Me to the Moon” and Astrud Gilberto’s “Corcovado.”

Tips for Correctly Cutting a Rug

Try to aim for a song that is about 3 to 3.5 minutes long, recommends Alexander. Four or 5 minutes may not sound like a long time, but it can be an eternity when you’re on the dance floor. If you really want a song that happens to be lengthy, consider inviting your parents, the bridal party or other guests to come out and join you after a few minutes.

When you finally think you have your song selected you should also practice dancing to it in order to get a sense of the rhythm and how it feels. “Paul Simon’s ‘Father and Daughter’ was a really popular father-daughter dance song a few years back,” says Alexander. “But it has this weird mid-tempo rhythm which made it really difficult for dancers to get a sense of the pacing.”

Don’t get discouraged if you and your sweetie have four left feet. Many couples feel better if they take dance classes – private, in a group or even via the Internet. “There’s no need to look like a professional,” says Millie Martini Bratten, editor-in-chief of Brides magazine. “The goal is simply to get accustomed to moving together so that you will feel comfortable out there for a few minutes when all eyes are on you.” Bratten recommends taking your first class three or four months ahead of time when you aren’t bogged down with other elements of planning and you have time to practice.

That said, while some people can’t wait to tango, swing or waltz their way onto the dance floor, for others it’s right up there with the terror and embarrassment of giving a speech – naked. Know yourself. It’s totally OK to break from tradition and plan to have your wedding party, family or everyone join in after a minute or even right from the start, Bratten says. “Most people aren’t interested in your dance form,” says Bratten. “You’re in love, you just got married and you’re excited about your future together. Whatever happens, people are going to love it.”