Bridal Fashions on a Budget

Faviana rolls out a new line of gowns perfectly tailored for the recessionista bride

By Timothy R. Schulte

Image courtesy Faviana

In this economic climate, wedding-related businesses are doing all they can to help out brides who may be working with a tighter budget. For some vendors, that may mean slashing prices on their products and services. For gown maker Faviana, it meant rolling out something completely new.

For 2009, Faviana, which has traditionally designed eveningwear for about any occasion other than a wedding, created a special White Collection of gowns for budget-conscious brides.

"This is the first time we've done a special grouping geared to the bridal market," says Linda Mann, a spokeswoman for Faviana.

Like other Faviana gowns, the White Collection gowns retail no higher than $500.

Paying the Right Price

Paying the Right Price: Shoes

By Anna Sachse

The engagement ring may put the wedding in motion, but it’s the fancy footwear that a bride wears on the big day that is going to get her down the aisle. But that doesn’t mean the shoes should carry an engagement-ring price tag.

Pay the Right Price for You

How much to spend is a personal decision. Kate Spade, Vera Wang, Jimmy Choo and Stuart Weitzman all make gorgeous but expensive bridal shoes. “If you are used to wearing Louboutins on a regular basis, then you’re probably not going to shop for bargain brands for your wedding day,” says Desiree Stimpert, the Guide to Shoes for About.com. “But beautiful shoes can be had in every price range, and women shouldn’t feel bad about finding a good deal on shoes that work for them, especially if the shoes will only be worn once.” Compare prices online, or hit up outlets, discount shoe stores, large bridal chains and sales and clearance sections at department stores.

However, if you are thinking about metallic shoes or something that is dyeable, you might consider spending a little more, since you’ll be able to incorporate the shoe into your everyday wardrobe, says Alison Rowe, accessories editor for Modern Bride magazine. And comfort is often worth the extra expense. Mika Inatome has a line of bridal shoes that feature a quilted insole and Cole Haan introduced a line of very stylish bridal shoes that incorporate Nike Air technology.

“The two most important factors when choosing wedding shoes are comfort and how well they work with your dress,” says Stimpert. “For those reasons, I recommend either sticking with a brand or designer you already love, or trying on a lot of different brands until you find the style/comfort/price combination that works for you.”

Keeping Kids in the Picture

How to make your nuptials as friendly for the little ones as they are for the adults

By Nola Sarkisian-Miller
CTW Features

Children often get invites to serve as the precious flower girl or dapper ring bearer at a wedding. But they rarely make the guest list to the wedding itself.

That's changing these days as couples marry later in life. They tend to have friends and relatives who have children - and, well, baby-sitters aren't always an option, especially in these tough economic times. Guests who have to travel across the country may skip out on a wedding if baby-sitting is a challenge.

"We felt it was more important to have our friends attend and share in our day than for them to miss it on account of baby-sitting issues," says Ira Sherak, 39, an animator whose recent wedding in Pasadena, Calif., included guests from the East Coast.

The key is to make the nuptials kid-friendly without ditching the romance, sentimentality and beauty of the occasion.

Some couples choose to include the children in the reception, providing activity books at the tables and even instant cameras for them to use. They may bring in extra entertainment, such as a clown or juggler for a kid's segment. Couples also can ask the DJ or band to play music catering to children's tastes, even creating a kids-only dance.

Sherak chose to host a private room for the dozen or so little guests, replete with a DVD player, TV, toys, games and snacks. He hired two chaperones from a baby-sitting service, using referrals from friends and family. One stayed in the room at all times and another was available to escort kids to the bathroom and to their parents.

To minimize costs, Sherak suggests bringing in your own meals for the kids.

"We let the chaperones get pizza for the kids instead of letting the caterers charge us $45 per kid for chicken nuggets & milk," he says.

Kidfriendlyweddings.com suggests even more activities for the kids' room to keep boredom at bay, including filling a piñata with treats, playing musical chairs and even covering a table with butcher paper for kids to unleash their inner Picasso or Monet.

Even with the best of plans, couples should be aware that their little friends aren't perfect, and a meltdown or some rambunctious behavior may be inevitable. With some extra planning, though, children can secure those coveted invites to a wedding and participate in a milestone moment, learning about a rite of passage.

Stressin' About Showers

If you think throwing a shower is easy, think again

By Timothy R. Schulte

Formulaically, bridal showers are easy. Food, drinks, gifts, done. Logistically, they are easier said than done.

At least that is what I found out when trying to broker a shower between the women contingents from both my family (mom, sister, sisters-in-law) and my fiancée’s (my future mother- and sisters-in-law).

The nexus of the problem was when to have a shower. I live about six hours from my hometown, where my mom, sister and one of my sisters-in-law live, so when shower chatter started around Easter, I immediately began thinking this summer would be a good time. My – our – wedding is in April 2010. And if I am driving home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I am not too eager to do so again in January or February (who knows what the winter roads will look like?), and March and April will be busy enough as it is. Plus, a couple handfuls of weekends are negated throughout the task of coordinating the schedules of eight or so people … So that is how I figured on the summer would be easiest.

Perhaps I was naïve because my sister, though, was not having it. “Too early.” “Tacky.” “It needs to at least be after the New Year.”

These are not the type of phone calls you want to start at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday.

We eventually, quasi-amicably, agreed to an October date, but I still wanted to figure out who was right in this matter. So I called the Emily Post Institute, hoping to get a definitive answer on whether I was accurate or amiss in my reasoning.

“You’re both right,” said Anna Post, the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and author of “Do I Have to Wear White?” (Collins, 2009). “It is on the early side, but if you have reasons why you’re doing it then that is more important than some arbitrary date on the wedding calendar.

“As long as you’re on the same page … I hope that everyone can be flexible,” she added.

Part-right is better than totally wrong, I guess, but Post did say that, technically, my sister was right in that we were on the early side.

Really, there’s no set rule, Post said. Showers can take place from a couple months out of the wedding to help build some momentum up to the big day, but just don’t want to have it too close, either. In terms of travel, if you have lots of bridesmaids traveling, a modern trend is to do combo bachelorette party/shower weekends.

Here are a few other shower-etiquette tips from Post:

• The bride’s mom or sister generally don’t host a shower, but it’s OK nowadays.

• Bridesmaids are not required to host a shower.

• You can have more than one shower, but you shouldn’t invite the same guests for more than once.

• You can’t invite someone to a shower and then not invite them to the wedding – office showers being the exception.

• Some people play games or have a theme, but it’s up to you.

• Depending on how much travel is involved, send out invites three to six weeks in advance; Post usually recommends a month.

• It’s OK to put registry info on an enclosure in the invite, just keep it off the shower invite itself.

Keeping it Diplomatic

If the wedding has you at wit's end, call on your coordinator to step in and quell the stress

By Nola Sarkisian-Miller

Out-of-touch grooms. Overbearing mother-in-laws. Troublesome bridesmaids.

It’s enough to send a bride-to-be over the edge. Keeping the peace during the wedding-planning process can often take nerves of steel. If eating right and exercising aren’t enough to mitigate those pre-nuptial headaches, brides have another alternative: they can turn to their wedding coordinator for some advice.

The call of duty for wedding coordinators extends beyond floral selections and linen options. Offering diplomacy services is all part of that fee brides pony up. A wedding coordinator can call that meddlesome mother-in-law, can provide ad hoc therapy sessions and like a concierge, deal with last-minute vendor cancellations.

“Take among the most important days of a bride’s life, add some nervousness, stress and emotions and things happen,” says Laurie Davies, owner of Five Star Weddings and Events in Laguna Niguel. “As a wedding coordinator, our job is to make them relaxed … to tell them, ‘Not a problem. Let me take care of it. This is what you pay me for.’”

A common emotional trigger for the couple is when reality sets in that there will be a marriage to cope with following the big wedding party.

“It becomes real to them when the invitations are printed, so the couples have to go through their issues and mourn the end of their single lives,” says Michael Willms, owner of Entertainment Design Events in Beverly Hills, Calif.

While coordinators may not bear a marriage and family therapist license, they usually bring to the table a wealth of contacts and experience. The key to diffusing tension is listening to their clients and giving them an audience, says Willms. The strategy works when he has to place a dreaded phone call to an imperious family member.

“I help them own a part of the solution and that makes them feel good,” he says. “A lot of times people want attention and they just want their voice to be heard.”

Davies approach when working with clients is to get a read on how brides cope with stress. Does she respond to emails instantly with novellas focusing on minute details? Or, does she take days and is more laissez-faire about the event? Davies also digs to find out if there are control freaks in the family.

To cope, she suggests couples pick their battles.

“One client’s mother-in-law didn’t like the invitations and wanted to print her own to send to her friends, something which I had never heard of,” Davies says. “I asked the bride if the invites were important to her and she said, ‘No.’ So, I told her to give this one to [the mother-in-law] and stand her ground on another issue that was more important to her.”

A Match Made In... Paradise?

Whenever I’m asked about the ideal honeymoon destination, I rarely give the same answer twice. Whether you’re traveling stateside or overseas, it’s important that a couple’s personality and lifestyle be compatible with their destination of choice. If beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, what are the chances that my paradise will resemble yours?

You didn’t choose your fiancé on a whim. Your honeymoon should be no different. Where a couple decides to spend their first days of matrimony speaks volumes. Free-spirited or intimate? Daring or traditional? Outgoing or leisurely? Don’t let chance alone decide.
With love as the common ingredient, why not spice up the concoction? We’ve all heard about the Waikikis and Arubas of the world. But if a pre-scripted honeymoon at an all-inclusive resort isn’t your style, then try one of these on for size.

Life of the Party
Key West, FL
If you want tropical without straying too far from home, there’s no better place than the Florida Keys. Key West’s mellow party vibe has a funk all its own (guaranteed by none other than Jimmy Buffett). A mecca for bohemians and beach bums alike, Key West will let your wildest dreams of island escapism run their course. Scuba or snorkel by day, then let loose at night at one of Duval Street’s many hot spots (just be sure to keep an eye out for any free-ranging chickens that might wander your way). If parasailing doesn’t blow your skirt, then don’t rule out a sunset cruise or dolphin watching.

Barcelona, Spain
A magnet for night owls and architect buffs, this Spanish culture capital has a style that few cities can rival. The Mediterranean provides the climate, and the street performers and nightlife of La Rambla Street deliver the rest. If bullfighting isn’t your idea of a romantic outing, then catch the latest Flamenco dance. Indulge yourself with Catalonian cooking where seafood isn’t just cuisine, but a way of life. And if your timing is right, witness the spectacle of Spain’s renowned Carnival.

Wild-at-Heart
Acadia National Park, Maine
The only national park in New England, Acadia offers unparalleled coastal beauty, not to mention activities for casual hikers and adrenaline junkies alike. The views are spectacular, the landscape pristine, and the wildlife plentiful. Where else can you eat freshly caught lobster and stay at a bed-and-breakfast with ocean views? The diverse geography of the park includes marshes, meadows, dense evergreen forests, and mountains rising from the sea. Whether you’re into climbing granite peaks or taking in the scenery, Acadia is a nature lover’s paradise.

Queenstown, New Zealand
Welcome to the adrenaline capital of the southern hemisphere. It wasn’t by chance that Queenstown became the birthplace of bungy-jumping. Activities include skydiving, hang gliding, caving, and skiing, to name just a few. In the heart of the Southern Alps along the shore of crystal clear Lake Wakatipu, Queenstown serves up some of New Zealand’s most breathtaking views. If crowds aren’t your thing but you’re still looking for some excitement, try nearby Lake Wanaka as an alternative.

Down to Earth
Niagara Falls, NY
A world class destination with something for everyone, Niagara is a rarity that actually lives up to all the hype. We’ll leave it up to you whether you prefer the American or Canadian side. Either way, you’ll be left with breathtaking views and memories for a lifetime. Be forewarned: there has been reported sightings of heart-shaped Jacuzzis. Though plenty of man-made distractions abound — casinos, arcades, and tacky shops along the boardwalk — the undeniable beauty of the one-hundred-and-sixty-seven-foot falls is a crowd-pleaser.

Québec City, Canada
Unique is the best word to describe this four-hundred-year old hidden gem overlooking the St. Lawrence River. The only walled city in the Americas north of Mexico, Québec City has convinced more than one traveler to skip Montréal all together in favor of its smaller, more intimate neighbor. Québec City’s down-to-earth citizens will be more than proud to show off their town’s Old World charm. Walk hand-in-hand down the narrow cobblestone streets lined with 17th- and 18th-century houses. Wander far enough and you might just come across musicians, street-performers, and actors in period costumes who have a tendency to show up in the most unlikely places.

Sun Lovers
Cumberland Island, GA
Retreat to the very place where JFK, Jr. held his clandestine wedding. Much like the tide washing ashore, time moves at a slower pace on Cumberland. Explore oak-lined trails or sun yourself on sandy beaches where you just might catch sight of one of the island’s wild horses. The only lodging outside of a campsite is the luxurious Greyfield Inn, which is still furnished as it was at the turn of the century (that would be the twentieth century). And if you’re thirsting for civilization, the quaint seaside town of St. Mary’s makes for a great excursion.

The Dalmatian Coast, Croatia
This pearl of the Adriatic is sometimes forgotten amidst its more famous Greek and Italian neighbors. In the port town of Dubrovnik, atmosphere is at a premium with marble streets, red-tiled rooftops, and a Mediterranean climate. The surrounding archipelago of forty-eight islands scattered beyond the city include the renowned Korcula, with its many quiet coves and secluded beaches. The island is also home to some of Croatia’s finest wines and olive oil. Watch yachts glide along the coastline in this seafarer’s paradise.

 - Josie Macalester

Too Many Cooks In the Kitchen

Too many cooks in the kitchen can spoil the soup may be a proverb from days past, but its message still rings true.  Of the many hurdles that an upcoming wedding can present, dealing with your future mother-in-law can often be the most vexing.  Planning for your big day should bring you closer to the in-laws, but so often the pressure and decision-making can sour that newfound relationship like a plate of deviled eggs served long overdue.  

In order to prevent your new life together from starting out on the wrong foot, follow these seven virtues when dealing with the Queen Bee – whether she’s a saint, or a monster-in-law in the making.

1. Courage

When it comes to preparing for your wedding, don’t let the smell of fear be your first impression.  Even if your mother-in-law is footing some (or all) of the bill, you should still have a say on the preparations.  After all, it’s not every day you get to walk down the aisle.  So don’t be a push-over.  Show some spine, girl!

2. Temperance

Whenever the tea kettle is about to blow its top, it’s time to put things into perspective.  Be the better person and exert self-control.  If a certain dance or prayer doesn’t fit into your idea for the perfect wedding, sometimes compromising the smaller things is worthwhile.  If Mom-in-law insists you wear a family heirloom necklace when you already have your accessories picked out, suggest sewing it into your garter, or converting it into a bracelet.  If you show you’re willing to compromise, chances are she will do the same.

3. Prudence

Sometimes you can’t do everything yourself.  When you aren’t having any luck flying solo, then it’s time to call in the cavalry.  After all, it’s your fiancé’s wedding too.  Try to avoid confrontation if possible and let him deal with the situation.  She’ll respond better if she knows that her son is also onboard.  It will also be much easier for her to forgive him than to forgive you.

4. Justice

There may be times when you may want to unleash your inner demon by yelling, screaming, or saying something that you’ll regret.  But there are some things that you can’t take back.  So take a deep breath, and if need be, leave the room to cool off.  Avoid passive-aggressive behavior (even if she’s a pro at it).  Calmly explain how she has offended you.  And remember - not everything is worth fighting for.  Sometimes you just need to bite your tongue and move on.

5. Faith

Have faith in the bond that you and your fiancé share.  Wedding preparations might require flexibility on your part, but don’t change your personality on a whim.  Remember your fiancé fell in love with you because you’re you.

6. Hope

Just like you hoped your knight in shining armor would one day sweep you off your feet, don’t lose hope when dealing with your in-laws.  Keep your chin up despite minor setbacks.  Pessimism is too often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And last but not least…

7. Love

Before any cliché eighty’s anthems start blaring in your head, let’s be honest.   It was that ten-thousand-kilowatts of Romeo-and-Juliet love that got you this far.  So what makes you think it can’t take you the distance?  Though you might often feel like you’re drowning in the day-to-day details, don’t lose sight of the bigger picture.  If the love you share with your fiancé can stand the test of time, then certainly the love and acceptance of your new family can withstand a single day.

  - Josie Macalester